Joyce Milne D'Auria
The Scottish Writer


Lumpy Porridge and Other Scottish Memories

Lumpy Porridge- Scottish memories and funny storiesLumpy Porridge is a compilation of humorous and nostalgic articles that appeared in a newspaper distributed to expats. Joyce D’Auria, nee Milne was born and raised in Scotland and emigrated to the USA after graduating from Glasgow Royal Infirmary Nursing School. The short stories included in Lumpy Porridge and Other Scottish Memories cover the adventures of a stranger in a strange land after she arrived in the United States, travelling back to the homeland to nourish her roots.

Included are childhood memories in Lanarkshire, Scotland and tales told by her grandfather– some are even true!

Look for secret Scottish recipes from her granny, bawdy tales about life in Whifflet (her mother’s hometown) travel adventures with her Yank husband who painfully learns how to get in a queue and how to pronounce Inverurie with the correct number of “Rs” (six, I think) and much, much more!

Book Quotes and Excerpts

“I read one time that the Inuit have thirty words for snow. Och, that’s nothing! We Scots have at least that many for RAIN.”

Joyce Milne D'Auria- Lumpy Porridge and Other Scottish Stories

Hogmanay (The night before New Year’s Day) is the biggest, baddest Scottish holiday: “After a big Scottish welcome and many “Happy New Years” we thirsty balladeers quaffed Granny’s homemade Elderberry wine, and attacked the best shortbread and black bun this side of paradise, spread out on Granny’s crisp lace cloth.”

Joyce Milne D'Auria- Lumpy Porridge and Other Scottish Stories

Scottish people love a story and I grew up listening to my grandparent’s yarns, told in rich dialect. “Many of the stories are based on their sometimes faulty but always colourful memories.”

Joyce Milne D'Auria- Lumpy Porridge and Other Scottish Stories

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